They say “which is lost is gone forever”, but strangely one of my little unusual but authentically true experience from the journey called my life compelled me to change the famous perception . Now I know you do get back on some things…Wait wait before you run your imaginations wild ,I am not talking about my newly found lost love , nor the man of my dreams denying each one of my tantrums and my over attitude making his way back only for me……though one thing ,a totally cherished possession of mine ,my diary my life which unintentionally got misplaced but by God’s grace was not mishandled and certainly made its ‘ way back safely to me and only me…actually there is just one way to define my diary my everything my most treasurable possession which I wish I could take it with me back to heaven….It had everything from my mail id’s to passwords from my personal to impersonal information ,the greatest feelings of my life being safely diction ed within it …some of the greatest memoirs some lamentations too I fondly addressed her as “EXPRESSIONS” expressing everything surrounding my life which can’t be verbally expressed so much. I generally don’t carry her everywhere but one morning my unpredictable mood got a little pissed off, I thought of reading back a few life giving moments , going to college on a smooth yet disrupted journey trying to surf though expressions unmindfully, I didn’t even noticed I was almost close to give my bus stop a miss quickly collecting all my things haphazardly I somehow managed to get down ..this buses I tell you wouldn’t take on any speed when I am on it ,it would almost pick up every passenger from their home itself but just when I have to get down then only it have to overtake one of its fellow four-wheeled monster threatening every human existence driven by human only and would gear on its maximum permittable speed .gosh! but that was just a stormy start to one heck of a day! As always was approximately 15 minutes late for my first class but somehow I managed to get into the class couldn’t though avoid the teacher’s underneath the specs “I will be watching you” looks ..as at the back bench playing hide n seek with the teacher’s close observation and counting on my hatricks of yawns I suddenly woke up ,I realized my expressions might not be with me I crosschecked my bag but to all my surprise it was too much of shock to react where is she oh lord! But I have to wait for this class to over to go search for her while thousand of life-saving ways stormed my mind but with just one fear “have I lost her forever” . as soon as the teacher was done with the attendance I excused myself from the class room and just rushed out with the most possible highest walk able pace with no sense of making to which direction actually. Somehow I reached the bus stop but she was not there I couldn’t even ask people have they saw the shining black classic broad and almost half-hand size individual who can’t even move herself nor can speak for herself . I wished if only my clone could talk. All day long with the sad sick face and one unrest mind with abundant words of assurance being tangentially entering and exiting my ears , they all were feeling for me though. But only I was entitled to that ultimate loss , even for once I thought of filing a F.I.R. , or subscribe with the popular daily’s missing column but I was strictly prohibited from any sort of over reaction . with the everything lost attitude as I was returning home suddenly my sms tone gathered all my attention and as I slowly keypress down the sms suddenly my pale face was gleaming with some ray of hope .In bold letters it was saying “ MA’AM !YOUR EXPRESSIONS IS IN SAFEHANDS ..BUT UNFORTUNATELY SHE WAS TOO TEMPTING AND COULDN’T HELP FOR HER EVERY SECRETS BEING REVEALED BUT DON’T WORRY TOMORROW YOU WOULD CERTAINLY GET IT!!!!!”
The whole night I couldn’t sleep restlessly , next morning I surprised my alarm clock because I shut her even before she rung.. countless times I cross-examined my mobile called that number but left with no answer and checked with each of the word of that sms innumerable times … then as I was trying to have something for the morning brunch suddenly my mobile adjacent to my plate was vibrating hard my heart bipped even harder as soon as the sms was opening ,,,,,,, “ HAD A GOOD NIGHT SLEEP MEET YOU AT THE CITY CAFÉ AT 5’ O CLOCK , YOUR EXPRESSIONS WOULD BE THE RECOGNISION MARK ” arre mr or miss X is surely having a good choice of place.
It was the same place where I first met someone special … thanks to his or her I get to spend some quality time with him and relive some of my lost moments and glistened the lost warmth ..we reached there almost half and hour before and the sweet aroma of the coffee healed many of the broken misunderstandings at once though I checked everyone entering through that door but couldn’t have a tinch of glance of her ….but neither I can wait there for ever nor can I bear the pain of detaching from my life though regained some motivation to strive the rest of my life ….. that night no response came but my mood was too good for another emotional setback
Next morning …..another sms raised my diminishing hopes “ SORRY FOR YESTERDAY MEET YOU AT THE HANUMANJI TEMPLE AT 5’O CLOCK”
It was Tuesday so mom would customarily visit the place so I didn’t have to make upto there alone moreover it has been months since I accompanied her ,,as a kid I specially went with her so that I could grab on the offerings the prasad first they were the yummiest and also love the orange mark which the priest would sacredly spot your forehead with and more was the fun when I was even younger couldn’t reach the bells and would jump my heart out but the day mom was more than happy ,seeing suddenly her daughter’s increased spirituality mumbling all her prayers to get her lost diary ,apart from the prevailing suspense with no possible outcome obviously the evening was nice and I made my mom happy ..
But I gave up the hope literally and almost disowned my mobile but next day as things were starting up another sms alert informing me today surely I would get her back in front of my school at 12’ o clock in the afternoon atleast the changed time might just prove auspicious ……. There was I where I spend twelve most wonderful tension free days of my life suddenly I couldn’t help murmuring “those were the best days of my life”
The building was old but her beauty was untouched before her was a queue of handsome school buses suddenly I noticed the same bus number which I used to avail the driver kaku was also the same with the same weirdo moustache but couldn’t hide the grey ones and soon could hear the loud typically stereo-type bells sounding strikingly similar and kids of all age came out rushing in groups as soon as they could escape the gate the line also get messed up and with their more than enough pocket money would bargain on the every available street food … I also saw my favorite teacher she had grown a little old but her patience and endurance still the same her face couldn’t hide that I went there and talk to her she remembered me and trust me it was one of a kind achievement but she couldn’t talk long as her bus would live …but needless to say MR COGNITO didn’t make it !!!! but that day I reestablished communication with many of my old friends..
Another hopeless morning ………..that day I was asked not to take extra exertion and to stay at the college itself I would be getting the very awaited visit ..
But strangely I was not left with any sort of remorse for the mystery man or secretive women but for that person I was able to get on so many things which I was on the very verge of loosing or forgetting….that day after a long span of time I was devoting some of my quality time to our college canteen with not so old yet not so new still good friends .. I still remembered when the first day I entered the canteen and being the juniormost we had to be extra loyal and obedient to our fellow seniors and also so many times our savior
Our hangout place when we have to bunk classes as I started to have fun I suddenly saw a fellow junior carrying her yes it was her “my expressions” just before I could make up to him he came close and handed me with her I asked him so many questions but he didn’t knew anything actually just that a stranger gave the diary to him and he didn’t observe anything so specifically about him just a young strange man ….
My “expressions” was just the same but only did I notice a note at her back
It said
“ life is too long..there is so much to regret for, so many people to blame with, so many unfulfilled expectations our grief the largest but at times life is just so short to rejoice the greatest of feelings, to trust people with, to cherish that your faith was always worth it…….
Not to expect too much from others not giving other’s many reasons to complain …its easy to tie new knots but even easier to ignore or unhold on the old ones but to cherish and preserve them is life itself ….what we want we may never get that our way still any way it comes we must openhandedly welcome it”
