Big gals don’t cry…

I still remember the incident, it was my pre-nursery days; I can very well pronounce my name, my house number, street number, even rhyme all the 26 letters of English alphabet in unison. I remember it was summer time, gariahat market all set to welcome Bengali New Year in full spirit, all aunties, didima, mashima geared up to bag their best baisakh sale offer, my mother with no exception, couldn’t resist the temptation of lagging behind, and spoiling my mid-day nap, she took me for her shopping. Back then too I didn’t get to exercise my rights, wasn’t given the liberty to say NO, so before I could realize, I was already in the market roaming from one shop to another, with repeated earnest requests to Ma that I can’t walk that much, I too need rest. Ma was so engrossed in shopping with utmost concentration, that wandering from one shop to shop, she even dared to forget that she made her daughter sit in the previous shop as she too was tired of my constant demands, and her obedient, calm and quite daughter was just following her strict instructions to not to go anywhere else. It took two more shop hopping before Ma could discover that I was not by her side, and by then my weeping was loud enough to reach her even two shops afar. Just then Ma’s whole shopping spree vanished at the spur of the moment; she rushed and reached me as fast as she could. She hugged me tightly, and as if promising me that she will never leave me alone, in this hostile world filled with complete strangers.She comforted me slowly, so that I could recover from the shock, soon my tears disappeared, and was again introduced to a friendlier world. But back then I was at the liberty to express whatever I feel, to long for unreasonable things as up till then my cravings were still considerable. Being a little girl, if I urge for a toy, and by chance was unable to get that, then I was given the liberty to cry aloud, my nagging was at least tolerable, at worst conditions I could be tagged as little spoilt, nothing more rude than that. Moreover my innocent cries seemed cute to the world.
But as we grew up, things changed, we learnt to hide our emotions; we learnt the important lesson to smile no matter whatever pain we might be going through, and got to evolve as a greater individual. Life taught us to keep our deepest secrets unearthed, to deal with the multiple heart-breaks through all those love-hate relationships, the trust which got broken and wasn’t fixed back, to forget the promise which wasn’t kept at all, overcome the memories which was not that sugar-coated, to set free all those sleepless nights. We fool the world with the perfect plastic smile. But whatever is it, we no longer need to cry…………………………………………………………..